Thursday, August 17, 2006

Golden Showers

So, I'm dogsitting my friend's miniature dachshund for a week. Chip's actually been really easy to take care of - small, slightly less yippy than the last time I watched him, snuggly, etc. All he wants to do is cuddle with me, which makes him quiet and content, which makes ME happy. He does, however, have a slight piddling problem - the whole submissive peeing thing that is common in weenie dogs. Usually it's not too bad - just a little dribble or two when you come home and let him out of his kennel. I don't really care and he can't help it anyway, so it's not worth worrying about - I just try to keep him from jumping on me when I let him out of the kennel.

The other day I had taken him outside and then put him in his kennel because I had to run an errand. I just walked to the shopping center behind my house for some things. I couldn't have been gone more than 30-45 minutes. So, I did my thing then came back and let him out of the kennel. He was all excited, so I leaned down and pet him and I was sure that if he had to piddle, he would have done it then. I walk into the next room and he follows me and is still wanting me to give him attention, so I lean down, pick him up and lift up into the air in front of me and I'm all like, "Aww weenie, what's the ma-" and then I saw it coming...it was like in slow motion, but there was nothing I could do. A stream of piddle was flying at my face. It splashed all over my cheek and IN MY FREAKING MOUTH. I squealed, but other than that, I actually reacted pretty calmly. I believe there was actually a moment when I attempted to characterize the taste, but obviously that didn't last long. I set him down gently and then proceeded to run to the bathroom gagging and spitting and laughing hysterically. I washed my face immediately (piss on the face kinda burns) and even washed my own mouth out with soap and then brushed my teeth twice. At this moment Andrew comes home and I'm all gagging and laughing hysterically in the bathroom. I attempt to tell him what happened through my laughter and tears (the funny kind of tears). I don't think he found it quite as funny as I did...actually I think he was pretty grossed out. And then he wouldn't kiss me. Pfft, I don't know why...

Chip

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