The Cheese Nazi

Today was a day of injustice. YES. Injustice, abuse of power, and food rationing. And it's not even noon!

Ondraya and I went to Sheetz for lunch, as we do with a certain frequency since it's so close to work. I generally order the same thing every time - a cheese and veggie sub with lettuce, tomato, green pepper, pickles, black olives, oregano, pepper, salt, and mustard. Said sub comes with three kinds of cheese: provolone, swiss and american. I HATE american cheese with a passion (it's not even real cheese!), so I always verbally request that they substitute cheddar for the american. No problemo.

TODAY. Today was different. Today when I requested my cheddar for american substitution, I was told NO. What??? I stared at the old hag for a second.

"Why not?" I implored, wide-eyed and mystified.

"I can't do substitutions" she said plainly, unapologetically.

"Seriously??? I ALWAYS get cheddar instead of american" I said. This is a normal thing!!! What the hell??? I was starting to panic in my head - I fucking HATE american cheese!!!

"You have to get it the way it says," she replied. "Sorry". Oh, but she was definitely NOT sorry.

"FINE!" I yelled. "WHATEVER!!!!" You may not know this about me, but I am really mature. I mean, clearly.

I angrily stalked the aisles for something else to add to my lunch purchase while relaying the details of my injustice to Ondraya. I couldn't even find anything else I wanted. In a huff, I went to pay for my FUCKING sangwich. The hag called my number and Ondraya grabbed it and handed it to me as I finished paying.

I hoisted the wrapped sandwich high above my head.

"THANK YOU, CHEESE NAZI!!!!!" I yelled. And we left.