Harmacy

I drove through the most insane fog on the way to work this morning. It was like all the land in Washington and Frederick counties was protesting the warmth of the air for this time of year. Thick white fog that went on for miles.

I dragged myself out of my car and shuffled my way towards the building, my head feeling as cloudy as the drive in. I hate my job. I've become another self-loathing, job-hating American. Exactly what I swore I'd never be. It didn't start out this way. I used to love my job, I used to care about it. I even felt excited and passionate about it. But, things changed... I came here to work on HIV, I wanted to make a difference, to do something I cared about. Our workload is different now...we lost a big government contract for some unknown reason. We no longer have any HIV vaccine studies, only studies for monkeypox (for biodefense, better smallpox vaccines, etc). Sure, I think we need a better/safer smallpox vaccine, but suffice it to say I'm a little less than passionate about finding one. I'm just no longer doing what I came here to do. And on top of that, there's a personal conflict with someone that is driving me insane. It's time to leave. I need a new job, a new place, new things to do. But, these things don't happen overnight...

In the meantime, I'm trying to embrace the cold, searching daily for jobs in Ann Arbor, gazing at the house I'm in love with there, and trying to figure out what I want out of my next job and life in general.